Hell Mates Christmas
by PerfectCell17
Summary: After Slumber Party. Well, it's that time of year! The hell mates get to experience the 'joys' of Christmas! Will they like it? Read to find out!
1. Carols

It was a typical day in hell, and the hell mates were up to their usual daily routines.

The four Ginyu Force members practised their poses continuously, along with coming up with new ones.

The Saiyans, Raditz and Nappa, held their daily board game tournaments for all who wanted to enter...

Noone ever did though, so it was always just the two of them, but oh well, they were used to it.

Kold was as... odd as ever too, and was still scoping out the hell mates, seeing who the hottest one was...

So far, it was still a tie between Cell and Vegeta, he just couldn't chose!

Broly's vocabulary was as small as ever as well, only saying 'Kakarot', along with the ocasional 'no'... Just to confuse the others!

Vegeta still stood against one of the walls in hell, whatever one was out of Kold's eye range.

He didn't really care all the much whether he was near the others or not, but he just couldn't stand being stared at like a piece of meat!

"Damn Icejin... He worse than Frieza..."

Speaking of Frieza, he was still with his partner in crime Cell, and still trying the think of new plots to use against the Saiyans.

"Man, it seems so boring around here!" Cell whined, pacing back in forth in his and Frieza's plotting corner.

"Yeah, we need a new plan or something, even if it will only be used against Vegeta."

"But what is there?! I haven't been able to think of anything lately!"

"Me neither... Maybe we're sick or something! What if we have colds, and they're interfering with out efforts to scheme?!"

Cell sweatdropped at his friend's paranoia. "How in the fuck do you catch a cold in hell?! Even though I do agree, something does seem wrong, well wronger with you."

The Icejin glared, and then sighed. "It's just not the same without a good plot..."

Yup, it was your typical day in hell until...

_JINGLE BELL, JINGLE BELL, JINGLE BELL ROCK!_

Those words came blaring out of the speakers set up around hell, an equally annoying jingle playing in the background.

Everyone covered up their ears in an effort to block out the noise, that is, except for one person.

"Jingle bells swing, and jingle bells ring!" Kind Kold happily sang along with the music.

"Heh, it's alittle loud, I guess. Hey Mez, turn the volume down!" Goz shouted to his partner, who nodded in response.

When the music was at a tolerable level, the hell mates hesitently uncovered their ears.

"Oh Kami, what is that noise?!" Cell demanded, cursing having his Saiyan/Namek hearing.

"These are Christmas carols!" Kold took the liberty to answer.

"And what the hell are those?!"

"Cheerful, fun, and happy songs to celibrate the holiday that is Christmas!"

"If they're cheerful and all that bull shit, why are they in hell?!" The Saiyan Prince demanded this time.

"Because, King Yemma wanted you guys to get into the holiday spirit!" Goz responded, watching everyone's faces drop.

"Listening to this mind numbing music isn't going to put us in any type of holiday spirit!"

"That's what they always say, but after a while, they just seem to grow on you." The ogre smirked.

Mez ran over to Goz, and continued. "And if they carols aren't enough to get you into the spirit, we have lots of festive activities planned!"

"What kind of activities?!" Almost everyone seemed to yelled at once.

"You'll see." The guard duo said in unison. "Since Christmas is tomorrow, we'll begin first thing in the morning!"

With that, the ogres left, leaving confused hall mates behind.

"Goodie, I can't wait until the festivities tomorrow! I didn't know it was Christmas time! We really need a calendar down here..." Kold trailed off.

"Am I the only one who doesn't understand what he's talking about?" Jeice wondered.

"I don't think anyone ever understands what that moron babbles about, and this is no exception." Vegeta answered, rather plainly.

"If it's something that Kold is excited about, then it's gonna be hell for us!" Nappa commented, dreading the possible scenarios that may take place in the morning.

"Oh well, no point in worrying about it. Odds are we don't even have a choice." Frieza groaned.

"Heh, we'll probably have a choice, just you, Cell and Vegeta won't."

The three glared.

"You're right though." Cell sighed.

_Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock!_

Vegeta growled loudly, "I can't stand this music!"

Suddenly, the song stopped earning many sighs of relief, until...

We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas---

"And a happy new year!" the larger Icejin sang, adding to the annoyance if the song.

"I can't take this!" Cell yelled, frustrated, stomping into the party room.

Frieza followed, hoping the room would provide some resistance against the music, which it did.

The bio android smiled at what he saw sitting in the middle of the room. "Alright!"

At the sound of Cell's excited voice, the others ventured into the party room as well, and were just as happy to see it, the big screen TV.

"Huh? What's that?" Frieza questioned, noticing alittle piece of paper taped to the TV. "It must be a note."

"Well then, read it!"

The Icejin grabbed the note, and began to read it aloud. "Dear members of Hell Community One, to prepare you for the Christmas fun, we've given you the television until the morning. Make sure to stay in the party room until then as well. Enjoy! P.S. No licking the TV this time."

"You know, I've always wondered about that rule..." Cell started.

"Uh, it's a long story!" Raditz quickly replied, laughing nervously.

"Care to explain it? I have the time."

The long haired Saiyan grabbed the TV remote and turned the power on. "Hehe, let's see what's on!"

"I wonder if we'll be able to see Earth..." Frieza mused, getting a curious look from Vegeta.

"What? You can see the living on this?" the prince questioned.

The duo f Cell and Frieza began laughing, loudly.

"What the hell are you morons laughing at?!"

"We got to see the first little while after we turned you and Goku into monkey... You're women's reactions were very amusing." Cell explained, snickering again.

Vegeta didn't comment back, but scowled at the momory. That was the longest year of his life, even if he didn't remember all of it.

Raditz flipped through the channels, trying to find the Earth one, but all the channels seemed to only be playing cartoons.

He stopped for a moment at one of them, where it showed some kind of deer with a lightbulb on it's nose getting laughed at.

"Yay, it's Rudolph!" Kold clapped his hands together, "My favourite Christmas special!"

"Uh huh... In that case, I'm changing it!" Raditz flipped the channel again.

The TV now showed a bunch of children building a snowman, and anxious to put a hat on it.

"Wow, it's Frosty! Frieza used to love this as a child!"

All eyes turned to the young Icejin, who was busy glaring at his father.

"I never pictured you as the cartoon type..." Cell chuckled.

"Fuck off, I was a child!"

"Since there are only Christmas shows on, wanna watch this one?" the long haired Saiyan asked. "It doesn't look THAT bad!"

Everyone shrugged, agreeing.

"Why not? Afterall, we're stuck in here until morning!"

The hell mates all took seats around the television, except for Vegeta, who went to his usual posistion, leaning against the back wall.

After about five minutes of watching, the Saiyan Prince slid down the wall until he was sitting.

"This is going to be a long night!" Vegeta thought, closing his eyes, and drifting to sleep.

By about the half-way point of the show, everyone except Kold, Frieza and Raditz had fallen asleep.

"I guess they don't appreciate a good snow man!" Kold looked over at all the sleeping hell mates.

The other two nodded in agreement.

_Thumpety thump, thump, thumpety thump, look at Frosty go! Thumpety thump, thump, thump ---_

"Over the hills of snow!" the three that were awake sang in unison, as the special ended.

"How did you know the Frosty song, Raditz?" Frieza wondered.

"Uh, well let's just say that you get bored, even when you have Universal Satelitte."

"What, they have an Earth channel?"

The Saiyan nodded, "Yeah, three of 'em!"

"Well, I'm gonna turn in now, gotta get my beauty sleep!" Kold said, laying down.

"Me too, I know I'm gonna have to be rested for whatever's gonna happen tomorrow. What about you, Raditz?"

"I'm gonna watch alittle more TV."

The Icejin's were quickly asleep, and Raditz contiued channel surfing until he found what he was looking for.

_Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, had a very shiney nose..._

"Heh, I knew they'd show this again!"

To Be Continued...

A/N: Yay, a Christmas special! Don't ask why hell, of all places in celebrating it, just thought it'd be interesting! I'm planning on getting the final chapter up very soon, before I leave! Hope it wasn't too bad, the next chapter should be more...interesting!

Please review, I'd appreciate it!


	2. Theory

Since most of the hell mates fell asleep early, due to boredem, they were up at the crack of dawn.

The trio that stayed up was still alseep though, but nobody really cared, it was rather peaceful without them.

"What the fuck was the point of that damn snowman show?!" Vegeta demaded aloud, thinking of the previous night.

"To torture us, that's what!" Nappa offered his theory behind the dreaded show.

Cell nodded, "Yeah, it's probably some scheme they cooked up. They use this so-called 'good' holiday, and force us to do all of these bull shit activities to get back at us for giving them trouble!"

"You've really given this some thought, haven't you?" Jeice sweatdropped.

"Well, I had to do something before I fell asleep!"

"I agree with Cell's theory, but I think I know what their 'master plan' is!" Recoome told the group.

"Fine, what is it then?"

"They're trying to brainwash us into being like him..." the Ginyu Goon cocked his head towards Kold.

"How'd you come up with that?" the Saiyan Prince raised an eyebrow.

"Easy, they want us to get into the holiday spirit or whatever, right? Well, Kold's already in it, so if they want us to be, then they would be wanting us to be like him!"

"Looks like Cell's not the only person who put some thought to this..."

"Yeah," Cell agreed, "And 'holiday spirit' and 'Christmas' must be their codenames, so we don't catch on!"

"Well, we're not gonna let them get away with it! We're never going to be like Kold!"

The hell mates shuddered at the thought of what they thought might happen.

"Mmmm... Dasher... Dancer... Prancer... Vixen... Comet..." Raditz mumbled, beginning to stir.

Everyone looked over at the sleeping Saiyan oddly.

"Aren't those the names of the reindeer from the Rudolph show Kold was talking about?" Guldo asked.

"I think so."

Vegeta sighed, shaking his head. "What has the Saiyan race come to?"

The long haired Saiyan opened his eyes, and looked around uneasily at those watching him. "Why the hell are you guys looking at me?!"

"Since when do you know the names of the reindeer?" Nappa wondered, cocking an eyebrow.

"What the hell are you talking about?!"

"You were saying their names in your sleep." Burter snickered.

With that, all of the others, except Raditz began to laugh as well.

Raditz just turned away, in anger and trying to hide the blush on his face.

"Huh? What's goin' on?" Frieza asked groggily, as he and his father sat up.

"Oh nothing, just mocking Raditz about talking about reindeer in his sleep." Jeice shrugged.

"Yay, I dreamt about reindeer!" Kold exclaimed happily, "Was your dream Rudolph on Ice too?"

The Saiyan/victim just groaned, the blush deepening on his face.

Vegeta smirked, "That's definately the brother of Kakarot."

The hell mates laughed again.

"Good morning, and Merry Christmas, y'all!" Goz and Mez greeted in unison, as the door to the party roon flew open.

Raditz let out a sigh of relief, with the ogres distracting the hell mates he was safe.

"Well are you guys ready to begin the holiday fun?" Mez asked, his voice peppy.

The ones who knew of the 'theory' remained quiet.

Frieza, Kold, and Raditz nodded, Kold alittle more eager than the others.

Cell raised his hand.

"Do you have a question, Cell?" Goz questioned, pointing to the tyrant.

"Do we have to participate?"

"Yes, this is manditory. For everyone, not just you, Frieza, and Vegeta."

"But I don't wanna be like Kold!" Guldo wailed in horror, at the thought of the theory being true.

Frieza turned to the others, "What the hell is he talking about?"

"Uh, it's a long story..."

"Okay, let's get going!" the blue ogre motioned to the door.

Hesitently, the hell mates left the party room and gasped at what they saw.

Colourful lights traced the ceiling of hell, along with circular green things hanging off every door.

In the center of hell, there was a large tree, decorated with various shaped and coloured bulbs, and gifts underneath it.

"Whoa, what happened in here?" Jeice wondered in awe.

"Hell looks like an Upper World reject." Burter responded, still taking in the sight.

Kold smiled brightly, "I like it! It reminds me of how we used to decorate my ship during the holidays!"

"Uh... huh... You know, I feel sorry for your crew, if you even had one." Cell sweatdropped.

Vegeta cringed at the new scenery, disgusted by the bright lights, various colours, and shiney things. "This is why I stayed in the gravity room during the holidays!"

Nappa was just plain bored, not even the decorations were enough to keep his attention, that is, until he saw one thing. "Food!"

"Food?" the rest of the hell mates, including Broly asked.

Sure enough, directly across from them was a table filled with assorted, and of course, colourful food.

"Hold on, did you just say something besides 'Kakarot' or 'no'?" Cell questioned, in utter surprise.

"Kakarot!" the legendary yelled, and the bio-android just sighed.

"Can we eat?" Raditz asked, eyeing out the food. Even though he didn't know what any of it was, it looked good.

"Not yet, y'all can eat once we've finished some activities!" Mez chirped, "And the first one is--"

"The first one is decorating your very own stocking!" Goz finished for his partner.

"What the hell is that?"

The red ogre grabbed a nearby box and distributed one of it's contents to each of the hell mates.

"What the fuck? A giant sock?" Vegeta studied the thing handed to him.

"No silly, it's a stocking!" Kold giggled.

"What's the difference?"

"Okay, I'll explain what you guys are gonna do." Mez started, leaving the prince's question unanswered. "Y'all are going to decorate these stockings any way you want using the materials provided, which are felt markers, cloth, and sparkles."

"You know, I think your theory is right. Only people like Kold would do this shit!" Burter said, not very quietly though.

"Enough of this! What the hell is the damn 'theory' you've been talking about all morning?!" Frieza demanded, annoyed at being kept in the dark about this.

"Should we tell him?" Cell turned to the others, who just shrugged. "I guess we should, afterall, him being like Kold is a scary thought!"

Everyone else nodded in agreement.

"Kold, go away for a minute!"

"Awww, but I don't wanna!" the Icejin pouted.

"Uh, but I see Rudolph!" the green one shouted randomly, pointing across hell.

"Really?!" Kold yelled in a mix of disbelief and delight, running off to where Cell had pointed.

"I can't believe my father fell for that..." Frieza shook his head.

The hell mates snickered at Kold, who was now calling out the reindeer's name.

"Okay, so tell us this little theory of yours!" Raditz snapped, making the others stop laughing.

That said, Frieza proceeded to tell the Saiyan and Icejin about the theory that the rest of them had come up with.

After hearing such... oddness, for lack of better words, the duo burst out into laughter.

"How do you guys think of this stuff?! Christmas is a real holiday, and all of the stuff is normal!" Frieza explained, having clamed down first.

"It's true!" the long haired one added.

Cell pointed his finger at the two dramatically, "They've already gotten to you!"

"Uh... huh... Whatever you say..." the brother of Kakarot sweatdropped.

"Hmph, nobody's asking you to believe it, but be careful, noone deserves that fate."

Kold wandered back over to the group, looking disappointed, "Rudolph's not here!"

"No shit!" Vegeta snapped, he was getting annoyed with the morons, as he calls them, around.

Goz and Mez grabbed the boxes containing the material the hell mates would need for their stockings and put them on the closest table. "Here's your stuff! Now get busy!"

To Be Continued....

A/N: Man, I was planning on this being the last chapter, but I have more ideas, so it shall go on, even though it'll run past Christmas. I'll try tp update quick though. Also, to people who read my other fics, I'll be working on them too, including Slumber Party, even though progress may be slow.

Please review and thanks to those who have, I didn't think anyone would really like this.


	3. Plans, and Presents and Fruitcake, Oh My...

Everyone, now equipt with their very own stocking, sat on the floor and began looking through the boxes.

"Hmmm, let's see what we got in here... Sparkles, felt, more sparkles, cloth markers, beads, and even more sparkles!" Jeice read out the contents of the box closest to him.

"This is ridiculous! First we get a gaint sock, and now we have to put sparkly, colourful shit on it?!" Vegeta yelled, in a mix of confusion, frustration, and disgust.

"Well, yeah, I guess that's what stocking decorating is!" Raditz answered, already with a hand full of markers.

"You know, I think you're enjoying this too much! Saiyan warriors aren't supposed to do these kinds of things, much less enjoy them!"

"C'mon, Vegeta, lighten up! It's not that bad, and it's not like you have a choice!"

"Yeah, who knows, you could end up liking this!" Nappa added, grabbing stuff for his stocking.

"Hmph, I doubt that! I, being the Saiyan Prince, would never enjoy doing such trivial activities!"

_You know Dasher, and Dancer, and Prancer, and Vixen... Comet, and Cupid, and Donner, and Blitzen. But do you recall, the most famous reindeer of all...?_

"Damn, they put these songs on again?!" Cell yelled, as the carol began to play.

"I'm glad, they get me in the holiday spirit!" Kold chirped, already decorating his stocking.

"Well, go some where else if you want to get even fruitier than you are now!" the android snapped back.

"Awww, Cellie's missing his Christmas spirit! I think I know what you need... A hug!"

Just as Kold was about to get up, Cell grabbed a bunch of materials, and fake smiled.

"No! No, that's not necessary, I have my spirit with me!"

"Yay, but that still leaves you, Veggie!" the Icejin turned to the prince.

"Hmph, don't even think about trying to give me a hug! Not if you value your after-life!"

"But I really think you need a hug, Veggie!"

"Dammit, stop calling me 'Veggie' already! To the likes of you, I'm known as Prince Vegeta-sama! I am not warning you again!"

Kold began pouting. "Fine, but if you don't start decorating your stocking, I'm gonna tell Goz and Mez, and King Yemma's gonna yell at you!"

Vegeta blinked, surprised. Did he just get threatened by Kold?

"Yeah, so get started, Vegeta!" Recoome laughed, "You don't want to get more community service!"

"Dammit!" the Saiyan swore, and grabbed some random stuff from the boxes.

The next little while was spent on the hell mates working on their stockings, until Goz and Mez came back.

"Okay, I hope you guys had fun!" Mez chirped.

"Now, we're going to collect them..."

"But don't worry, we'll give 'em back later!"

With that, the ogre duo grabbed the stockings from each of the hell mates, and looked at them.

It was pretty easy to tell which stocking belonged to which person.

One said '_Kold x Veggie x Cellie' _in sparkles, which they assumed was King Kold's.

The next one said '_KAKAROT', _in various colour felts, which seemed like the work of Broly.

Another said '_Mr. Cuddles'_ in brown marker, with a childish looking drawing of a plushie. That had to be Cell's, he was the only known hell mate with a teddy bear.

Four stockings, when put next to eachother read '_We are the Ginyu Force... Masters of Posing'_. Hmmm, who could that possibly be?

'_Hail the Prince of Saiyans' _was written in neat cursive, using blue and black markers. Obviously Vegeta's.

The next one had two poor looking monkeys, with wild hair on them, being attacked by... a reindeer? They assumed that one was Frieza's, the only one that had anything against the Saiyan 'monkeys'.

The second last one had a pretty well drawn picture of a snowman, with the words _'Thumpety Thump Thump' _written along the side. Well, this one was either Raditz's or Nappa's, and they were gonna go with Raditz. He seemed to be enjoying the holidays more.

And last, but not least, the stocking that belonged to Nappa, which simply said '_No more carols!'_ Both ogres chuckled at that, they thought the hell mates would like the holly jolly Christmas songs... or atleast that was their excuse to play them.

"Uh, very creative job on the stockings, to say the least!" Mez smiled, and let his partner continue the speaking.

"For the next activity you will --" Goz cut himself off, upon seeing one of the hell mates raise their hands. "Yes, have a question, Nappa?"

The Saiyan nodded, "What the hell are those?" Nappa pointed to what appeared to be some small piece of greenery hanging from the ceiling.

"Those are mistletoe!" the ogre answered.

"What are they for? Decoration?"

"No, silly!" Kold took over, "If two people get caught under one together, they have to kiss!"

About half of the hell mates, the one's that Kold had called 'hot' or 'cute' paled. Now they knew not to get anywhere near one of those!

"Anyone want to do a demonstration?" the Icejin asked eagerly, but got no response.

"Moving on... Next, you guys will just try some of the holiday food, while we take care of something." Mez explained, pointing to the previously discovered food table.

"Enjoy!" the guards said, walking away. "By the way, we'll turn the music up for y'all!"

Before anyone could protest, both ogres were gone, and the music was already turned up... loudly.

_I'm dreaming of a white Christmas... Just like the ones I used to know._

The trio of Christmas likers, Raditz, Kold, and Frieza all sang along with the next verse, despite the annoyance of the others.

"Why aren't you singing, Cell?" Frieza asked, snickering. "I know you know the words... Afterall, that information is in my cells."

The green one 'hmphed', Vegeta style, before answering. "True, that information, along with the information for various other celebrations are in my data banks... I just don't bother delving into those parts. Who knows how that could affect me..."

The Icejin glared, before looking over at his father, who was still singing. His glare quickly vanished. "I guess I see what you mean."

"Why the hell are you guys still talking? We're allowed to eat!" Nappa called, already at the table, with the rest of the Saiyans.

"You know, I'm so happy that I didn't get the Saiyan's appetite." Cell sweatdropped, as he and his partner went to join them.

When they got there, the rest of the hell mates were already stuffing their faces, and almost everything had been eaten. It didn't take along before everything was gone, that is, except for one thing.

"It looks like a brick." Jeice simply stated, poking the food looking thing.

"And tastes like one too." Raditz added, getting the other's attention.

"You mean, you've eaten one of these things?"

The Saiyan nodded, "Yeah, it's called a fruitcake..."

"Heh, must be named after Kold!" Recoome commented, causing a bunch of giggles.

"Well, it can't be _that_ bad, besides, I'm still hungry!" Nappa grabbed a piece of the cake and ate it... or atleast, tried to. "What the fuck?! I can't bite it!"

"Told ya, it's like a brick!"

The bald Saiyan formed a small ball of ki, and fired it at the fruitcake, but nothing happened. "Maybe it's immortal..."

Vegeta cocked an eyebrow, "How can food be immortal?"

"Try and destroy it, I bet you won't be able to!"

"Just watch me." the prince formed his own blast and shot it, leaving the cake unharmed. "Maybe it really _is _immortal."

While the little fruitcake thing had been going on, Frieza and Cell wandered off, looking at the few remaining things on the table.

"Egg nog, huh?" the Icejin noticed a carton.

"Ugh, I hate that stuff!" Cell spat in disgust.

"You mean you've tried it?"

"...Unfortunatly."

"Hmm, this give me an idea..."

"You're not going to try to get me to drink that stuff, are you?!"

Frieza chuckled, "Don't worry, it's a plan to get back at the monkey prince."

The sound of yet another of Frieza's plans got Cell intrigued. Very intrigued. "Go on."

"Heheheh, so how do you think they're liking their little holiday experience?" Mez asked, grabbing a bag.

"They hate it, so, it's doing it's purpose." Goz grabbed the other bag.

"Well, if they think that's bad, just wait until they see the presents they get..."

To Be Continued...

A/N: Sorry for the lateness, but I made it alittle longer to make up for it. I was in a very weird mood, and I think this chapter reflects that. Hmm, what's Frieza's plan? And what presents are the hell mates gonna get? Find out next time, which will hopefully be the last chapter.

Please review, and thanks to those who have!


	4. Merry Christmas!

"So, what's this plan of yours, Frieza?" Cell wondered, still staring at the Egg Nog carton. He couldn't get how anyone could possibly like that stuff!

The Icejin smirked, and grabbed a flask out what seemed to be nowhere. "This is my plan."

"You're gonna give Vegeta a flask?" Cell cocked an eyebrow, "I gotta tell you, these plans of yours are losing it."

"You take that back!" Frieza demanded, truly offended. How dare someone mock his plans!

"Why are you getting so defensive? It's only the truth."

"Do you even know what my plan is!"

"No..."

"Well then shut up and let me explain!"

Cell nodded, and mock sniffled, "Okay, but you didn't have to be so mean about it."

Frieza just rolled his eyes, and continued to explain his scheme. "Okay, in the flask is the remains of the alocohol from the slumber party..."

The green one shuddered at the memory, that night was hell for him. "How did you get it?"

"Simple, when we were cleaning up I saw that not all the bottles were empty. Anyway, my plan is to put this in Vegeta's egg nog when he drinks it, so he'll get drunk."

"But, didn't he get drunk at the slumber party too?"

Frieza shurgged, "I don't remember..."

"Me neither."

"But, if he's the only one who gets drunk, then we'll be able to remember it, and mock him about it for all eternity!"

Cell grinned. He was liking the sound of this plan. "Okay, so how are we going to do this, so he doesn't notice?"

"It's actually quite simple..."

Meanwhile, Vegeta and the other hell mates were still staring at the fruitcake, contemplating whether it was truly immortal or not.

"I think it is!" Nappa poked at the rock hard piece of food.

"So do I." Vegeta added, "Afterall, it didn't even flinch after I blasted it."

Raditz sighed, "I'm telling you guys, it's not even alive, so it can't be immortal!"

"I'm afraid I beg to differ." Jeice said, picking up the dessert, but dropping it quickly. "It moved!"

"What?" the long haired Saiyan asked, wondering if he had heard the Ginyu Force member right.

"It moved, seriously!"

Goz and Mez still laughed to themselves about the gifts the hell mates were going to be given.

It turns out that the gifts had been selected especially for each hell mate, and considering what they were, they didn't think too many of them were going to like them.

Oh well, that was half of the fun of it.

"I'm telling you, fruitcake can't move, nor is it immortal!" Raditz exclaimed, frustrated.

"And I'm telling you that anything mortal cannot stand against one of my attacks!" Vegeta protested back.

"Well, I don't think it's immortal either!" Kold agreed with Raditz, putting his arm around the long haired Saiyan.

Raditz quickly slipped out of the Icejin's grasp, and ran over behind Vegeta. That way, Kold would go after him first.

"Hmmm..." Vegeta studied the fruitcake carefully, before throwing a punch at it, hoping he caught it off guard.

However, off guard the food was not. Afterall, how could it even be on guard?

Anyway, Vegeta's attack sent the cake flying into the wall behind it. But it came back, hitting Vegeta in the chest with the same force that he had thrown at it.

"Are you okay?" Nappa asked his prince, as the fruitcake landed on the ground, totally unharmed.

Vegeta nodded slowly, "What the fuck! It counter attacked!"

Cell and Frieza heard the others yelling about something, but couldn't make out what they were saying.

"Man, what's going on over there?" Cell wondered aloud, earning a shrug from his partner.

"Who knows... Probably the monkeys playing with the fruitcake or something."

Cell snickered at the possible scenarios that could happen with the others vs. a fruitcake, not knowing it was really going on.

"Shall we go join them?" Frieza smirked, putting the flask behind his back.

The two guards were just about to announce that it was time for them to open their presents, when they saw the little fruitcake display.

"Maybe we should wait a minute... This could get good!" Goz chuckled.

Mez nodded, grinning as well.

Vegeta picked up the deranged dessert, and jumped when he saw little coloured covering it. "The thing has eyes!"

Raditz smacked himself in the forehead. "Those are cherries!"

"They don't look like any cherries I've seen!" Recoome commented, staring at it in Vegeta's hand.

"Kakarot!" Broly randomly yelled, pointing at the dessert.

Everyone looked at the legendary oddly. "What's the supposed to mean?"

"I got it!" A figurative light bulb went on above the prince's head.

"Got what? A fruitcake?" Frieza asked, as he and Cell approached where everyone was.

"Well yes... But that's not what I meant! I mean, to get rid of this... thing, we could get it sent to Kakarot in the Upper World!"

"Can you even do that?"

"Awww, you don't like our fruitcake? We spent all night making it!" Goz mock pouted, also joining the little group with his partner.

"You mean you guys made that!" Jeice asked in awe.

"Sure did!"

"I didn't know they had _that_ kind of power! They could make a whole army of those things!" Guldo exclaimed, trying to keep his voice down.

Vegeta gulped, "Shit, I never thought of that!"

"Anyway," Mez began, "Yes you can, as long as you classify it as a Christmas present."

Raditz took the fruitcake from Vegeta's hands, and tossed it to the ogre. "Get rid of it before they think it's going to eat them or something!"

"Can it do that?" Jeice asked, still not fully recovered from it 'moving'.

"See what I mean?"

Mez laughed and tossed it into one of the boxes containing the gifts. "Okay now -"

"I need something to drink!" Nappa interrupted.

"I'll get it for you!" Frieza volunteered, earning some very strange looks. "Can I get you some too, Vegeta?"

"Hmph, I don't trust you!"

"Oh come on! What could I possibly do! How about this? If I do anything wrong, you can sick the fruitcake after me."

Vegeta agreed, afterall, if that thing gave him a hard time, it would give the Icejin an even harder one.

So Frieza got the two glasses of Egg Nog and distributed them to the Saiyans, making sure to add the alcohol into Vegeta's.

Once their drinks were gotten, they both gulped them down in one drink.

Cell and Frieza glanced at eachother, fighting back a smile.

"Okay, if there are no more interruptions, we have something to give y'all!" Goz put the box onto the floor. "King Yemma got each of you a gift to celebrate the holidays!"

"When we call your name, come collect what you're getting." Mez finished, calling the first person, "Cell!"

The green tyrant grabbed the box and unwrapped it to reveal a small plush rabbit. He glared, "What about Mr. Cuddles! Have you forgotten about him? I don't want him to get jealous!"

"He could have a friend?" the blue orge suggested, laughing.

"Mr Cuddles is perfect, he doesn't need friends!" Cell dropped the plushie back into the box, and stomped back to the others.

"Okay... Next up is Vegeta!"

The prince unwrapped what he got to reveal a a new spandex training suit. Not too bad... That is, until he turned it over to see the words '_If you've got it, show it off!' _written across the back.

"Oh, I think you would look cute in that, Veggie!" Kold commented.

"Hmph, as if I would ever wear it!"

"Next is... Jeice, Burter, Guldo, and Recoome! You all have a combined present!"

Curious, the Ginyu Force members opened their present, the whole Richard Simmons _'Sweatin to the Oldies' _collection.

Everyone sweatdropped.

"Broly, you're up next!"

The legendary took his gift and revealed two books. Not just any books, but a book on Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and the other was a Dictionary.

"Next, King Kold!"

"Oooh, lingerie!" the elder Icejin held up a small silk... nightie?

"That's just creepy..." Jeice whispered, getting many nods.

"Hmmm, next is Frieza!"

"I wonder what I got..." Frieza said lamely, opening his gift. "It's a pairof fuzzy slippers..."

"Finally, Raditz!"

The Saiyan grabbed his box and opened it, sweatdropping. "What the hell? A Mary-Kate and Ashley hair pin collection?"

Everyone, that is, except Raditz began laughing.

"That is not funny!"

"Well, we have one more activity planned for the day, and that's some Christmas carol karaoke!" Mez announced, getting everyone to stop laughing. "It's all set up back in the party room!"

"Do we have a choice?" Cell asked, praying they did.

"Do you ever?"

"It's just not fair..."

Once everyone was gathered in the party room, they just stared at the small karaoke machine.

"I'm not going first!" Frieza put his hands up.

"Me neither!" just about every other hell mate said in unison.

Kold happily grabbed the microphone. "Fine, I'll go first!"

About half way through the Icejin's... lovely version of _White Christmas'_ Cell and Frieza were called to do some errands for King Yemma.

It turns out that his origional two workers were sick, so the duo was stuck being temporary elves to deliver presesnts to the same day care they had been to for their community service.

After what seemed like eternity to them, they were finally finished.

"Well done. I'm impressed that neither of you complained about your task." King Yemma told them, smiling. "Because of that, I have arranged a special Christmas present for you two."

"What would that be?" Frieza questioned.

"You'll see when you get back."

"I wonder what Yemma got for us..." Cell said, as the two re-entered the party room. "What the hell?"

Frieza began laughing at the sight infront of them.

A staggering, hiccuping Vegeta was currently wearing his new spandex, while doing the _Sweatin to the Oldies _tape.

"But how did he get drunk so quickly...?" Frieza asked, but then remember King Yemma's words.

"This must be our present!"

For the next little while everyone watched the prince with much amusement, laughing their asses off.

"Merry Christmas, Cell!"

"Merry Christmas, Frieza!"

Owari!

A/N: Finally, one less story to worry about now! Hehe, don't ask, I was hyper as hell when I wrote this, and I hope it turned out okay. I decided to give poor Cell and Frieza a break and let one of their plans actually succeed... Even if it was assisted by King Yemma! Anyway, hope everyone enjoyed this fic, it was fun to write! And a very late Merry Christmas to y'all:)


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